How you can help your child grow up with a positive sense of self?

Healthy self-esteem is one of the best gifts parents can give their child. A positive sense of self needs to be built right from childhood. While it is not uncommon to see parents showering their kids with positive reaffirmations cheering for them, there are several other important aspects of building a positive sense of self, that we often miss out on.

Below are listed 8 tips to build self-esteem in your child:-

1. Don’t do everything for them

As parents, it is crucial that you understand the concept of letting your child do his/her own thing. It will not only help them become independent but will also help in the development of new skills. For example, you can teach your child to set up the dining table for meals and get dressed on their own. Remember, there is a difference between pampering them and doing literally everything for them.

2. Stop the comparison

If your child does not live up to your expectations, it is important that you think before reacting. On top of it, comparing them to their classmates and fellow friends will only demotivate them further.

3. Teach them to help with household chores

It is important that the parents allot certain responsibilities to their kids so that they start helping around the house. This habit will help them feel valued as an individual. As a parent, you can ask them to help in cleaning the house, making their own bed or carrying their basket.

4. Help them embrace their failures

While most parents try to be the cushion when their children fail at something, it actually acts counter-productive. Instead, parents are advised to encourage them to get up after a fall and explain it to them that nobody is perfect. This will sow the seeds of self-love right from childhood in your kids.

5. Do not over-praise them

When you over-praise your child, you teach them to be satisfied with what they have, instead of pushing themselves more. As a parent, you need to help your kid find the delicate balance between trying to aim for perfection and not being insecure with what they are right now.

6. Practise what you preach

It is no brainer that children imitate their parents’ behaviour. You need to love yourself enough before you instill self-esteem and self-love in your kids. Celebrate your successes, learn from your failures and let your child be the witness to it all.

7. Support their hobbies and passions

The simplest way to build a positive sense of self in your child is to be the wind beneath thier wings. Strike a conversation with them on a daily basis and encourage their interests and dreams.

8. Teach them the skill of saying ‘NO’

Teaching your children to take their own stand is very important. They will appreciate in later life when peer pressure builds on them and yet they have the courage to say no.





This article first appeared in TOI.

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2 thoughts on “How you can help your child grow up with a positive sense of self?

  1. Hello,

    I disagree with you on kids and chores a 100%!

    No kids should NOT have regular chores. Kids are kids NOT mini adults and need childhoods! Play is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in childhood. Kids have school, homework, etc already. EVERYTHING they can learn with chores they can learn in other ways. Yes, we should teach kids skills, etc and its OK if they help once in a while but making them have chores on a regular basis is WRONG! I did not have chores as a kid and have NO problems as an adult, I thank my parents for giving me a CHILDHOOD. I do the same with my kids!

    1. Thank you for going through the article.
      Even I agree that children should not be given REGULAR chores. The goal is to let them help in small ways, as and when possible. Chores shouldn’t be enforced upon them.


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